Me,past and now
by nadkaz
Summary: my life is not like it seems to be...I'm there yet I'm not...


:: Me, past and now ::

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This is my first fan fiction. So, be easy with me. He. Sorry if I made mistakes in grammar or whatsoever. Please enjoy it!

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**I'm not the one who owns Wild Adapter. It's Kazuya Minekura!**

That's day, I walking from the school. Actually, it's late. I should be at home at 5 pm but, it's doesn't bother me. Or anyone. Because I'm just there. Just pretend to be there…

The sun seems to be disappeared from sky, but it still has half of them and shines the dusk with orange like a fire in the sky. I just stare the dawn until the black cloud start moving and the sun disappeared somewhere in the sky. Suddenly, the rain starts pouring the earth. I just walk and the rain starts pouring heavily. I need to find the shelter. Then I find an alley that have root on it. I wait there until the rain lessens.

I sit down and I heard something. I turn and I saw a cat lay down not too far from me. I can't see clearly but I think I heard the cat like endure something. And a light of the thunder suddenly illuminated and I see the cat is injured. I try to get close to the cat and touch it but it scratches me. Even though I can't see it clearly, I know that the cat is afraid to be touch. I see the scratches at my hand. I don't fell anything except a numb. It's the first time I feel something through me. I watch the cat and it seem to be over protected about itself and doesn't trust anything or anyone. There is sharp glare at its eyes. I look at its wound. There is mark of bite at it leg. It must be dogs. The wound bleeding and the blood start dye the white fur at it leg. I take handkerchief in my bag and try to treat the wound. Even though the cat tries to struggle from my treat, also try to bite or scratch me, I still want to help it. For the first times, I feel I'm alive there.

The rain stop when I finish treat the cat. I look at my hand. There is scratches and also mark of bite. I just smile and turn to see that cat sleep peacefully. I wrapped the cat with my jacket and start moving. Before I go, I turn for the last time. "Thank you and goodbye, little friend."

When I got home, I just walk to my room. Like always. 'Father' passes me and didn't say anything. Same as everyone in the house. Just like I never exist. That's how my life is. I'm here but not there. I'm just somebody but nobody…

++++++++NEXT DAY++++++++

I was walking from school like always. Not late. I use the same road like always. Nothing changes. I just keep walking. I don't know why this day is not same like before. I just follow my legs wherever it takes me. When I realize, I in the same spot like yesterday. In the alley that I used for shelter myself from rain. I look and I see my jacket lying there. For the moment, I think about that cat. _Where the cat now? I hope the cat is safe_. I turn around to get going. But, I feel something rubbing my leg. When I look down, I see the cat is rubbing lenient like I'm its owner. I bow and rub its head. It seems like it quiet like when I rub its head. I turn to its leg. The handkerchief still wrapped at its leg and there is some blood stick to it. I unwraps the handkerchief and saw the wound is starting to heal.

I sit there and the cat jump into my lap. I brush its head and the cat seems very happy. For the moment, I feel the heat from that cat. For the first time, I feel others. And that make me realize that I'm alive. And I got something to attach to.

That day, I got home late like yesterday and it doesn't bother anyone…

++++++++NEXT DAY++++++++

I stand in front the alley and I look at it. Suddenly, the rain pouring heavily without any sign. I just stand there and not moving. I just let the rain fall on me without any shelter.

The cat is lying down without any reaction. It's not moving. It just lying there with the guts is scattered out of its body. The blood is spread everywhere and began flow to the nowhere with rain.

Normally, those who see it will scream or ran away for fear or sad. But, I just stare at it. Like it's just a common thing that I always see. The truth is I don't know how to react to this kind of situation. Should I cry or laugh? Or just pretend it never get through me? I stare at the dead cat. From above till below. Analyze the cat. So one day, I could be like that. Break and fall like a broken doll…

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"Kubota-san, lets go lunch now? I feel hungry already." Komiya take the car key and stand in front of the entrance door at our apartment.

"Wait. Just a minute. I need to take my clothes in. It seems like its going to be rain this evening." I walk to the balcony and take my clothes that I basked early morning. I turn to the sky and see the cloud began to move around.

"Ok! Just hurry up! You know that road will be 'busy' in rain! And we will miss our lunch!"

"Ok."

I place the clothes at sofa and follow the man who stands in front of me.

XxxxxxxxxxxxX

I meet Komiya when I entered Izumokai group and be their youth group leader.

After Sanada-san 'tests' me with whatever-he-need-to-be-a-leader, Komiya approaches me.

"Cool!! He didn't even flinch at killing someone... What guts!" he said. I didn't think people would praise anyone for this kind of act. But it doesn't matter to me because this how I used to live.

Komiya is vice chief of the junior division. So, we always hang up together. Doing all the patrolling-collecting-money-yakuza-things.

It's not the first time I'm with someone. Before, there is a woman that always chatting about her problem with me. Also, my uncle that I used to live with. And woman who tries to lure me but, it didn't interesting me. And boss that kiss me just to past the chewing gum that already taste his cigarette.

"_As usual. Do you dislike women?"_

"_Not really. I'm just not interested."_

"_Then, men?"_

"_Not really."_

"_Humans?"_

"……_.Not really."_

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"Kubota-san... your family?"

"It exists... in theory."

"Well, really, 'It exists' is all there is to it. When I was in my house, 'Don't be seen' was the rule, it seemed. Even if people were near, no one talked to me, and they averted their eyes. Thus, since I was born, my parents haven't talked to me one single time."

"That's... a little extreme, isn't it?"

"……" I exhale.

"Is it? But it doesn't really matter to me. If you never had something from the beginning, you don't want it. It doesn't hurt, it wasn't cruel. Caring for someone half-heartedly, surely that hurts, that's cruel."

"It's not just pain, is it?"

"Yeah. But, I'm a coward, so..." I stretch and lay down on Komiya.

"Uwaa! Wai... Kubota-san!?"

"Ahh... exactly the right height."

I close my eyes and I heard he said under his breath.

"A person who could make Kubota-san hurt... does such a person exist?"

I don't know what he means by that. But, somehow I feel the warm from it. Same warm that I lost from the past…

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That day rain falling heavily. It same like when my little friend die.

Suddenly, the door open and someone gasping then collapsed in front of me.

"Komiya! What happened?"

"I'm sorry... I was delayed. On the way I was taken captive... They took the drug... Probably... it was those Toujou bastards..."

"I understand. Don't say anything more. I'll call the exclusive doctor now..."

Komiya pull my clothes and I stay beside him.

"Komiya..."

"-San... Kubota-san... Kubota-san..."

"Yeah..."

"Heh heh..."

He holds me. His hand is cold like ice. I return them with strong grip. So he could stay warm for a moment.

"Kubota... San..."

"Yeah."

"Kubota-san... You really shouldn't be in a place like this... You really shouldn't stay like this... You really shouldn't die a common death, in this sort of place, in this sort of way... I... I... With Kubota-san... Living..."

Rain starts pouring heavily

"Yeah..."

His breath starts to be slow. It seems like it time for him. Time to departure to other world.

"Yeah..."

Again, I don't know what I should do. I just look at Komiya dead body. The rain keeps falling to us. Like it cry for Komiya. But, I just sit still with Komiya body at my lap. I don't know if I cry or not because the rain keeps falling and I don't know what I'm feeling anymore…

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"Naa, Kubochan...What should we eat today?" Tokito open the refrigerator to look for something to eat.

"If I not mistaken, there is curry in refrigerator."

"What are you saying?! We already finish it yesterday!"

"Oooo…Then we need to go out looking for food."

"How about we eat sukiyaki? I heard there is new restaurant across this street."

"Hmmm…it's a good idea."

"Ok. I go grab my jacket. It seems like tonight will be cold."

There is no rain tonight but the wind is felt cold. Maybe there will be snow coming. And I don't care.

_I happened to pick up a cat. A splendidly large stray cat... that seemed like it'd be considerable trouble but its life force seemed surprisingly strong..._

"Hurry up, Kubochan!"

"Hai…hai…"

_This time for sure I felt that the one to die first would be me..._

------------------THE END------------------

That's it. Please enjoy yourself. Please rate and review.


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